Counting down

So only 10 more days before I'm home for four. I'm not as excited about it as I was three weeks ago. Three weeks ago I had a lot more to look forward to. Even though I feel like I've dealt with my disappointment well, it still hurts to think about it.

I've come to realize that accepting things doesn't mean that they stop hurting you. It just means that the pain doesn't affect your day to day life. It doesn't prevent you from going on and doing well and living well. Any anger, jealousy or fear just serves to hold you back in all aspects of your life. That would be giving power over to someone else. I refuse to do that. I am in charge of my own life.

Despite what my blog may suggest I am not a needy girl. This is not to say that I was never one, I just am not anymore. I am not someone who is looking for a man to make me whole, save me, protect me or otherwise look after me. I am my own person with my own mind and desires. Any man that I get involved with better have his own mind and desires. I am looking for an equal partner not someone who wants to just go with the status quo.

I've seen too many people just go with what's there or what's easy for fear of there being nothing else or just afraid that they don't deserve more. Everyone deserves that person that they connect with on all levels. That person that loves them above everyone else. What people should be afraid of is ending up with the wrong person and not that they will never find that person. I think it's far more miserable to be with someone who doesn't listen when you talk to them and never remembers anything about you. Someone who would rather be somewhere else than with you but figures this is the best situation for the time being till something better comes along.

Why doesn't everyone believe that they deserve the perfect fit? Why doesn't everyone keep looking till they find it? Why do people ignore their instincts?

"Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end." ~ Unknown